Date #30, #31, and #32: The No-Name Bunch

Title explanation: These next three guys are the only ones from my whole dating series that I cannot recall their name off the top of my head. I’ve written down all of my dates in a journal – where we went/what we did + their name. The first ones name is written but the next two it literally says “name forgotten”. You’ll find out why in the next 10 minutes.

May 12, 2023

Every now and then a man will let me choose the date and this was one of those few times. I took this opportunity to pick a restaurant that is on my “DC Food Spots” list – a curated list of food spots in or around DC that I’ve heard about and wanted to try – but… (I’m about to have some people mad at me) this place is nowhere near DC. We went to Swahili Village, an African restaurant in Beltsville, MD. After looking it up though I seen there is another location in NW DC if you’re feeling inclined to go.

Date 30 and I arrived at the restaurant, and he was nice looking. Like averagely nice looking if that makes sense. Lightskin, average height, a little on the pudgy side… made no difference to me.

We had good conversation but one thing a guy will do that’ll turn me off is the overuse of a joke or phrase. Yall know that song Don’t Play With It by Lola Brooke? I honestly don’t even know what prompted it but he would always respond to whatever I said with “Don’t play with it, don’t play with it, don’t play with it!” And I’m like… ok it was funny the first time, maybe the second time, but third time at the dinner table now you pushing it. And this went on the entire night. 

We ordered our food, it was decent, pretty good conversation, then after dinner it was getting kind of late but it was the weekend. He said he wanted to do something else and besides the tired phrase, I really was enjoying his company so I said why not.

Where else could you go last minute to just chill? Dave & Busters of course (referring back to my previous comments in Date #29). So we drove all the way to the D&B in Silver Spring, separately, and luckily too because I started getting irritated with the drive, so much that I had to call my bestfriend to complain. 

I absolutely do not like driving to new places especially at night and the way the GPS was taking me I was getting anxious because it was dark so barely any cars were on the road, it was taking me on the two way windy ass streets and at one point it looked like I was driving through the woods like omg where is it taking me? And then it seemed like it was taking forever for me to even get there. He was texting me trying to figure out where I was and I couldn’t even tell him. And then when I arrived... so D&B is actually on the third floor of a mall and by this time the mall itself is closed but D&B is open so I'm walking around the whole building trying to find an open entrance as most of the entrances were locked. He even offered to come get me but I was so irate that I didn't want him to see me like this and said I'd find it on my own. I was getting so frustrated and annoyed that I couldn't even help showing up with an attitude.

But it wasn’t his fault and I didn't want to take my frustrations out on him so before even meeting him at the bar, I took myself to the bathroom first to calm down a bit. When I did end up joining him I think he could sense my frustrations because he had to ask if I was alright and I just had to pretend I was fine. But of course by this time I was over the date and just wanted to go home.

I stayed a little longer though. We each ordered dessert but then conversation got stale and I was even more ready to dip. He asked if I wanted to play games and for me to even decline that told you how fed up I was and just needed to get back home. Even trying to leave was a whole mission. A closed mall at night is already scary enough, but with all the doors locked makes it completely unbearable. I would've freaked out if I was alone but him and I plus another couple were going up and down each level trying to find a way out until we found a restaurant to go through.

I did tell him I wasn’t interested in a second date and I don’t remember what his response was but that was it for him.

May 27, 2023

Date #31 gave very much friend vibes. He was really cool to talk to but the minute he walked up I was already turned off. I don’t want to call him ugly but he wasn’t my type at all. Short, skinny, I think he wore glasses… lol. Idk it just wasn’t it for me; he looked kinda nerdy too. Sometimes the nerdy vibe works but I just wasn’t feeling him. And the way he approached me it felt kind of like he wasn’t too excited, maybe like he was disappointed by me too hell idk. I understand I’m not everyone’s type so idk if that’s what it was but yea vibes were kinda off when we met up.

He invited me to this mermaid art exhibit and as someone who believes she’s already a black mermaid and believes mermaids exist, I was real excited to go. It was going on at Metrobar in NE DC. The vibe itself at Metrobar has always been a chill one although I’ve never ordered anything there as nothing ever looked appetizing, but the events I’ve gone to have always been a good time. The bar is in a refurbished train and they often hold different events in the outdoor space. Across the street is also a luxury theater that I like so it’s a cool spot to just hang out. Across from those two is also pickleball and a rollerskating rink and then on the other side of the bar and theatre there’s a food hall.

Ok enough about the area. So homeboy and I are walking around, not talking much… like I said it was kinda weird. But I so happened to see some girl selling candles and everyone knows how obsessed I am with candles so of course I’m like we’re stopping to go sniff. But as we’re walking over I’m like hold on these candles look a lil familiar…

I saw this same girl selling these same candles on two different occasions. The first time I saw her was at this underground market I went on with Date #6. Bought a candle from her, loved it, went on Etsy to buy another. But the site was acting weird so I couldn't buy it. Maybe a year or so later I see her again selling the candles at H St. festival. I instantly got excited, ran over to her and told her about the Etsy site. She asked me what candle I was trying to buy so I told her. She said she had it at home so if I pay her now and give her my information – email, address, phone number – she could contact me and send it to me. I’m like ok bet (in hindsight I should not have paid without getting the product immediately… nor gave this girl my whole address, but since this was my second time seeing her and I’ve even seen her products on Etsy I’m thinking she’s legit idk). 

So fast forward a month goes by, two months, three months, I’m contacting her in between on IG inquiring about the candle. She keeps giving me excuse after excuse. At one point she was sick, another time she sent this UPS link and it said “tracking label made” or something like that, but after some time I still didn’t receive this damn candle (imma be honest I never even knew what the candle smelled like). Eventually I told ol’ girl can I just get my money back at this point. She never responded of course. 

Now fast forward I’m seeing her again for a third time at this art exhibit while on my date. I told date guy, and gave him the whole run down of the story. Mind you this had happened maybe a year or so prior. I’m asking him like “what you think I should do just leave it alone or confront her?” (mind you again… I’m not even a confrontational person) but I gave this girl $40 and I think I felt comfortable that someone else was with me. So he was like “no we’re going to confront her what you mean?” I’m like ok bet we’re on the same page! And then we joked, I told him I can’t fight incase it gets outta hand and he said just approach her nicely (which I had planned to) but if things escalate he’s gonna knock the whole display down, steal a candle, then we’ll run. Now idk how serious he was about this plan but the fact he was jokey about it made me feel better.

So I approached this girl, nice of course, and said “hi I don’t know if you remember me I DM’d you…” and before I could finish my explanation she said “yes! You wanted the insert candle scent here” I’m like oh so she does know who I am. She started going off on a tangent with sob story after sob story about how her aunt died then someone else died then she started talking about her tooth… girl idk what was happening and out the corner of my eye I see date dude smelling the candles like ok I hope you not distracted from the plan. But she said “I still have the label ready I just have to send them off. I'm really behind but I can bring you yours personally. Are you going to be in Maryland tomorrow?” I told her I wasn’t, which I really wasn’t, but even if I was I wouldn’t have told her that. I said, “actually can I just get my money back?” She said sure and gave me the cash. Luckily it wasn’t a whole scene and as much as her candles do smell delicious, I might avoid her table if I see her at another event… which I’m sure I will.

So that happened on our date. We looked around some more, even played a few hands of UNO, and after that we left and went to the food hall where I tried poke for the first time. It was good. Would I go out of my way to get it again? I doubt it. I guess he was having a good enough time with me because he asked if I wanted to go to the Hirshhorn museum, one of the free museums at the national mall. He didn’t have a car and I wasn’t driving downtown so we took the metro.

We arrived and he was really into one of the videos playing that we sat there and watched it play twice. I’m not one that spends more than 30 seconds looking at art pieces, reading the little plaques or whatever they’re called. He was, and if it wasn’t for the museum closing in 30 min then I’m sure we would’ve been in there all day.

We left and it was hot outside so we grabbed ice cream from one of the thousands of ice cream trucks stationed along the national mall and sat on the grass and talked. It was a real chill vibe, something I’d wanna do with friends just to get a mental release.

We took the metro back and he said he was going to a friend's house who didn’t live far so I told him I’d take him. As he was getting out he paused then turned around, thought of a bit, then puckered his lips confidently. I gave him a peck although I knew I wasn’t feeling him in that way.

Although it was kind of awkward at first, by the end, it turned out to be a pretty good date. Yall know those like early 2000s movies where the teenagers have to get across town by 6pm before the bank or whatever closes but they don’t have cars and they just keep getting met with one obstacle after another while on this journey? That’s kind of how it felt. Just one activity after the next. I’m not sure if I explained that right but I really did enjoy it, so much to the point where I told him I wasn’t interested in him on a romantic level but I could see him as a good friend and would want to hang out as friends if he was open to it. He told me he wasn’t on the app for friends… so that’s where we ended.

July 16th DC Date #32

Date #32… I remember he was really good at giving advice while we talked on the app and a good conversationalist, so I was excited to meet up with him. He said he knew this place to get ice cream so I’m thinking ok ice cream and a nice walk sounds nice.

There was nowhere to walk. I pulled up to this produce market – Miller Farms in Clinton, MD. Now I like me a cute little market, but only if there’s more than just produce… and in an area to actually walk around. But it looked like we were (as the name suggested) on a farm. On the side they had a little dessert shop with cakes and cookies and pies and I do have a bit of a sweet tooth so I said I would go back but… thinking back, it’s not worth the drive, which already isn’t that far to begin with. Maybe 30 min or less.

So I arrived and same as the guy before, I already knew he wasn’t my type. I said wow back to back this is hurtful. Now that I’m in my relationship era, remember? Like wow is this really how the dating scene is when you’re intentionally looking for someone? And even worse it was a wasted outfit... ironically the same shirt I wore on the last date, idk how that happened.

Now this guy too was nerdy but like in a… trying too hard type of way. Trying to be cool, trying to be funny, just trying for the life of him. Date #31 at least had some confidence to him I will give him that.

So we grabbed our ice creams and what else can you do but sit in the car? The place didn’t even have any benches outside. And I will admit I was already feeling some type of way because Date #28 lives in Clinton, and everytime I went to his house I would always pass this market and I would often wonder what it was like. Now I knew, and I was still in the throes of my heartbreak over him. So thinking about this guy I was still very much missing, while on a date with a guy I wasn’t attracted to in the least bit… I wasn’t having a good time at all. And it wasn’t fair to him but being in this new phase of wanting to find someone and being disappointed with the guys that were being presented to me, I just wasn’t trying on the date at all. I feel really bad about it but all I wanted was the date to be over quickly. I missed #28, along with still thinking about #29, so bad I just wanted to go home not even the ice cream was making me feel better. After having to let go of #29, and then being disappointed with the three after him, I was honestly so exhausted with the search.

I even told ol dude I had to go to walmart after the date and he offered to go with me and I’m like??? Why would you? I didn’t say that but I thought it and… even as a thought it was mean of me because Lord knows if he was fine and I was into him I woulda been like damn the walmart trip where else you wanna go? Hell, we can go anywhere!

But after leaving the date I didn’t even give it some time. I told him I wasn’t interested anymore and he never replied… which I think is a good thing for both of us.